Their New Addition
by LucyBelle00
Summary: It wasn't that she hadn't thought about it. It was something she knew—something she had always known—that she wanted and that she wanted to give to Jem. She just hadn't expected it to be so sudden and unexpected. Modern day Jessa.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

Tessa didn't remember when she had fallen, only that her knees ached as the cold of the bathroom tiles seeped into her bones.

It wasn't that she hadn't thought about it. It was something she knew—something she had always known that she wanted and that she had wanted to give to Jem.

She had thought about it often, even more so recently. Jem was getting older and she knew better than most how time could get away from you if you weren't careful. She just hadn't expected it to happen without any preparation.

Her mind wondered to when she had found out about her Jamie. Little Lucie had been easier, no less frightening, but easier in that she could better deal with the fear. But now…

Was it wrong, she asked herself. Would they hate her for moving on and having more children? Would they think that they were only a passing moment? Would this little one think that?

Then a new vision entered her mind and it calmed her somehow. In it there was a little brown haired girl brutally debauching a note on a violin and Jem standing over her and adjusting her grip, the note coming out strangled still, but less so than before. Then a little boy flew into her mind, sitting in her lap with a child's book and mispronouncing almost every word wrong and she would gently correct him and he would repeat the word wrongly a few more times before he got it right. She saw her and Jem and the little boy and girl sitting at a dinner table, smiling at one another and laughing at jokes that their family shared between only their selves.

"Tessa?" The voice was Jem's. The crinkling sound of plastic bags altered her that he had been grocery shopping. She could see him in her mind's eye with bags weighing him down, walking in the door to their little London apartment and kicking it shut behind him. Then she pictured it again, but this time she changed one detail. He still carried the bags, but this time there was a little child, pulling at all of them, trying to find something of theirs. "Tessa, I'm home," he called out again.

She wanted to answer enthusiastically, to come out of the bathroom beaming like a soon-to-be-mother should be, to kiss him and tell him of a new someone who would share their future with them.

But that wasn't what she did. Instead, her mind went to Will and James and Lucie. Would she be the same with her and Jem? When he got old and finally died—she shivered at the thought—would she run off and leave her child or her children like she did to Jamie and Lucie—watching from afar and only knowing that they were gone from this world through the words of others?

She remembered Lucie, who had gone first. It had been two years after her death before Tessa had even found out. Once they had reached their sixties she had cut off all contact with them, knowing that their deaths would be soon.

She knew of James's though. He had written her a letter just a few days before he had gone, one she still kept with her. He had been so old—seventy-seven, and she remembered wanting to pretend that the dried and crinkled droplets on it were from something other than his tears, though she knew that they were not.

He had written so many beautiful things—Will's lovely way with words had been passed to their son. In the letter, he had expressed his wish to die. It had made and still did make her heart ache. When she had gotten it, it had filled her with envy and empathy. Envy because he would find his peace, and empathy because he, just as she, had watched everyone he loved wither and die. But most of all she felt pain because the letter was signed two months before she ever had the courage to open it, and she had known then that he was gone. Her golden eyed baby boy was gone.

Would she feel the same pain she felt looking at her the Herondale and the Blackthorn families when she looked her new baby's family in the future when her own was all gone?

Tessa's mind snapped back to the present as she heard Jem putting up the groceries.

Shakily standing up she took the pregnancy test and threw it in the trash, wrapping some toilet paper in her hand and throwing it over, though she doubted Jem would know what is was anyway. Then again, he had formed a certain affinity with modern soap operas, so she wasn't taking any chances.

She walked into the kitchen, praying to the Angel that her hands weren't still shaking. He was staring at the label of a can of something, brows furrowed and fully engrossed in whatever he was seeing. When she had first taken him grocery shopping, he had been surprised and delighted at all the things that you could buy canned. But that had gone out the window when he realized he couldn't pronounce half of the ingredients.

She went up and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Hello," she said, kissing his neck and leaning her head against his back. His sweater was soft and she felt herself close her eyes and lean into him even more. "You didn't have to go to the store. I could have done it."

He unwound her arms from around him and turned to face her, his face alight with gentle love. "It is my apology." His hands were still wrapped around her wrists. He brought them back around his waist and then put his own around her and pulled her close so that they were chest to chest. "Since you are the only one who can cook, I decided that I would be the one to get the groceries."

Her heart swelled with love. Even Jem, who was from a time when it was solely the woman's job to take care of everything at the house, thought to help her out. Only her Jem would have listened to her when she made the comment that they were almost out of laundry detergent and went and bought some…

Her heart stopped as she gazed at the laundry detergent that he had purchased, sitting on the counter behind him in all of its accusatory wonders. It was a brand made specifically for infants and was meant to be gentle and non-allergenic.

"You bought detergent meant for a child?" It came out as a question and more of a squeak at that. Did he know? He couldn't have, could he?

Jem looked bashfully at the blue bottle sitting on the counter. "I must have grabbed the wrong one," he admitted with a shrug. It was the truth, Jem had always been a terrible liar when it came to her. "Sorry," he ducked his head down. "Perhaps my trying to help is more of a burden for you than help if I can't get the right things."

Tessa immediately felt bad. She hadn't meant for her words to come out condescending. "Don't be ridiculous Jem. We can use the detergent just the same. Besides," she added, smiling at him warmly. "How do you know that I am the only one who can cook? Have you ever tried?"

At this, his face became very red and he ducked his head down even more. "No," he said. There was that terrible liar.

"Oh, now you've got me interested." She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his chin lovingly. "I must hear about his, for if I don't then I will sulk around here all day in nothing but an oversized shirt with a gallon of ice cream."

He smiled down at her. His face was still red but it had diminished a bit. He nuzzled her jaw, and she imagined that it was more to hide his embarrassment that it was anything else.

"I attempted to cook a meat loaf once while you were out with Catarina." He leaned back up and bit his lip, scratching his neck. "Even Church would not eat it."

Tessa giggled. "Well, I appreciate the thought."

He grinned and his eyes crinkled at the corners. "I should probably put the milk up before it ruins."

Tessa stepped back reluctantly and allowed him to grab the milk cartons and put them into the fridge. All the while she was eyeing the detergent.

"I can take it back you know," Jem said seriously. He had stopped what he was doing and stood looking at her, a box of cereal in his hand. "It really isn't a problem Tessa."

"No," she murmured. "No, that's okay. Who knows, we might need it." It had been a suggestive thing to say, and she carefully gauged his reaction. He only tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brows, sticking the cereal into the cabinet before turning around and grabbing some more groceries.

"Well, yes." He put something else in the fridge. "I know that. I doubt you'd be able to stand me if I did not use soap. You might still smell okay, but I would not. What I mean to say is that while we will certainly need it, it doesn't have to be that specific brand meant for infants. I can go and get another brand."

She cleared her throat. Her palms felt slick. "What I mean to say," she spoke and was surprised that her voice wasn't shaky, "is that we might well need that brand."

Jem had stopped what he was doing and had leaned back against the counter top. He was truly confused.

It was in that moment that Tessa realized that of course, he wouldn't have any idea what she was talking about, and for not the first time in her life, she felt pity for him.

He had been so young when he had been told he was dying. At just eleven he would have never thought about having children, and after that, he had been sick and dying and still could not have thought about it. Even after he had been freed from the brotherhood and had been with her for almost five years he did not consider it because it was always so far away—so impossible for him.

"Tessa, why would we need a brand designed for infants?" he asked, looking at her strangely. He looked like she had lost her mind and then, all of the sudden his eyebrows shot up and she thought, he has finally realized. But that was not so. "Are you allergic to the other detergent?" he asked.

It was such a very bizarre thing to say that she might have laughed had she not been so sad that that was the first conclusion he could come to. It seemed more realistic to him that she had been hiding an allergy towards their laundry detergent for five years than it was that she could have been talking about a child.

She walked up and to him, close but not touching.

"We might not need it," she told him. She looked down at the musician's hand that hung at his side, and reached out, grabbing it loosely. "But someone else might."

She couldn't read his face but his chest seemed to rise and fall faster and his hand tightened in hers.

"Who?" His voiced cracked. "Who might need it?"

"A baby?" she shrugged and then added a soft, "perhaps".

It was whispered so softly that she didn't know if he heard until he asked, "A baby?" He still held her hand in his but it had stiffened. "Where would we get a baby?"

A nervous giggle left her mouth and before she could stop it, it had turned into a full tide of nervous laughter that she couldn't get to stop. When she finally, did her eyes were full of tears that she knew were not from the laughter. One rolled down her cheek unchecked. "You don't know what it is we've been doing all this time? I assumed you realized that that might result in one." One—a baby, but if hung between them unsaid.

He had been staring at their joined hands and now he looked up at her through dark lashes. A darkness that she had to become accustomed to after so long of silver. "You want to have a baby?" he whispered. He was breathing so fast now. He dropped her hand but quickly moved it to cup her cheeks. He was so close and his breath fell against her lips in short, warm bursts. "You want to have a baby with me?" His eyes were wide with wonder and something that looked like… hope. "Tessa, I—" he broke off looking flustered and shaking his head in amazement. "I had never even considered. It—the thought. It was always so far away—impossible. It has never been an option for me. And I did not know if you wanted to—not after…" James and Lucie. The words were unspoken between them. "Tessa?" his voice broke and he looked at her with wide eyes that held such hope and happiness and fear that she was forced to look away. "Do you want to have a baby?"

She gave him a crooked smile. "Actually," another tear broke free from her eye and rolled down a path beside where the other one had. "I already do."

She gently took one of his hands off her face and brought it down to where she rested it against her stomach. His eyes remained on her face for a moment before they followed the trail of his hand.

She was not showing yet and her stomach was as flat as it had always been, but something about the gesture must have done something to Jem.

"Oh my God." It was somewhere between a choke and a sob as he fell to his knees, burying his face against her stomach and holding her against him. She kept her eyes up, stroking his silky hair. Though it had changed colors, it had never lost is texture.

Something about it all, the way he grasped at her as if she was his living and breathing salvation, the way his hands gripped at her back almost painfully, how she could feel his sobbing breaths through her clothing—and she remembered the night he had proposed to her. His heartbreaking proposal of a man who knew he could only offer her nothing but himself and a short time but promised to give everything of himself in that time, the disbelief in his silver eyes when she had said yes—everything was so similar to that night that she could not help but fall down in front of his and bury her face against his neck so tightly that she could taste her own salty tears against his skin.

And there was no thought about the future or the past, about James and Lucie, or about this one and how she would be forced to watch it die someday, too. It was just Jem and Tessa and the one new addition to their strange little family.

They had remained on the floor, wrapped up in one another's arms for some time. It could have been minutes or hours. Tessa didn't know. At that point all she knew was that Jem was here and she was with him and they were together. They would face this together.

Eventually, Tessa had closed her eyes and Jem had pulled her up before she could drift off and laid her on the couch in their little loft, the place they had made love on their first night back with one another after too long of being separated.

He didn't lay down with her, but sat at the end of the couch and placed her head in his lap as he sat staring out the large window on the east wall, fiddling with her hair.

She would have stayed up with him, asked him what his faraway look meant, but she was so tired, so she just smiled up at him sleepily and he had brushed over her face with gentle strokes, lulling her deeper into a sleep.

She needed it now, after all, it wasn't just herself she had to take care of. There was someone who was depending on her now—a little piece of her and Jem inside of her, though she supposed there had always been, this one was just alive.

The irony of the thought made her smile through her drowsy, half-awake mind. It was like their love was embodied in a person—a tiny little person. The thought of someone running around calling her Mummy again made a nervous flutter of giddiness and fear course through her.

"What are you smiling about?" Jem ran his hands over her lips and the feather light touch made her smile grow.

"What don't I have to smile about?" she asked him, cracking her eyes open. When she realized that they sun had long since set and she was in no danger of it bothering her tired eyes she opened them more. They must have been sitting there for hours and she had just been to wound up to really fall asleep. He gazed down at her and the love she saw in his eyes made her heart stutter. "Come on," she said, sitting up and brushing the hair from her face. She took his hand. "Let's go to bed."

He looked at their joined hands and rubbed the pad of his thumb over the back of her hand. "I don't think I can," he said honestly. His voice was hoarse. "Not now. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to sleep again."

"Trust me," Tessa chuckled, pulling at his hand so that he finally stood up and gazed down at her. He looked like he thought he was in a dream and she might disappear any moment. "You won't be able to—sleep ever again that is. But we've got another seven or eight months before then, so I suggest we get all of it we can now."

He smiled softly at her and brought his hand to rest lightly on her neck bringing his lips down to hers. It was a sweet, gentle kiss, full of emotion and promises.

His lips were soft on hers as he parted her mouth slightly, though the kiss never got very deep before he took his mouth away.

He kissed the corner of her lips, then he moved slowly down her jaw, behind her ear and down her neck, never lingering in one place too long. She had her arms draped around his neck, eyes fluttering weakly.

It was a lethargic kiss. Both of them were sleepy, though she guessed that it was only about eight o'clock.

"Let's go to bed," he whispered. He nibbled her ear then kissed behind it before grabbing her hand and pulling her to their bedroom.

As soon as she got there she sat down on the edge of their queen bed and dragged him into her lap awkwardly, kissing him on the mouth. It was still slow and tender but their little walk to their room had given them both a bit more energy and there was a fervor behind the kisses now that had been absent before.

She laid back and began to crawl towards the head of the bed, Jem following her and his lips never leaving her skin. He was currently sucking a spot below her collar bone.

"Jem," she breathed, bringing her hands up to tangle them in his hair and hold him to her. He sat up, knees on either side of her hips as his hands went to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head, exposing a vast expanse of tan skin layered over muscle. The scars stood out, white and slightly more raised than other shadowhunters—more cuts than burns they seemed. Her hands ran over them in wonder. He had stopped apologizing for them long ago because he always knew that Tessa would tell him he was beautiful. She knew he didn't believe her, so she always took the chance to tell him when she got the opportunity.

"You're so beautiful," she said, running her hands up beneath his shirt. He shivered.

His body left her then and he was sat up, his body cradled between her hips. He sneaked slowly down her body, his eyes never leaving hers as he dropped a few kisses along the way before he stopped above her stomach. He took the hem of her shirt and pushed it up her body until the fabric was bundled beneath her breasts and her pale stomach was exposed.

It was a vulnerable position, but not with Jem—never with Jem.

His hands traced patterns over her stomach and his touch made her shiver. He looked up at her through a veil of dark hair and smiled bashfully before dipping his head down and running his warm mouth over her belly. He alternated between feather light kisses and intense sucking.

Tessa let out a soft noise that sounded like a mixed between a sigh and a moan, though she couldn't tell which. His kisses and touches were a mix of something pleasurable and relaxing. She ran her fingers through his soft hair and held him to her.

His hands slipped lower, fiddling with the button of her jeans. They popped open and his hands slid beneath both them and her panties. Tessa threw her head back against the pillows and gripped the sheets.

Jem's mouth moved lower until her kissing a spot right above her pantie line. It was then that she found she was tired of his teasing and she pulled at his hair lightly until he scooted back up her body, a mischievous smile on his now puffy lips.

"You're a tease," she told him. It hadn't come out as accusing as she would have liked as she couldn't seem to catch her breath.

"I happen to know you love it when I tease you," he murmured, his lips skimming over the top of her heaving chest as his fingers pulled at her shirt. She arched her back and sat up just for a moment to help him get rid of it.

And when all the rest of their clothes were gone, he locked his fingers through hers and put them beside her head as his body came down and found all the erogenous points on her body that he had discovered during their time together.

"Jem," she had moaned, gripping his hand to the point that her fingernails must have been cutting into his skin. And when he had let her hands go to run them down her body she slid hers into his hair and guided his lips to hers and they had kissed until neither one of them could breathe.

Their bodies, slick with sweat, slid against one another and there was nothing left of the teasing Jem. He was as desperate as she was now as he held her to him and moved over her in a way that made her breath come in short gasps.

She had her legs wrapped around his hips and moved with him. He was gentle in a way that didn't make her feel like he was holding back and when realized that they were both close and he slowed down even more.

He pushed her sweaty hair aside as best he could with it sticking to her face like paste, his hips never stopping. Their breaths were heavy and hot.

"Wo ai ni, Tessa," he said, and he kissed her at the same time his hips stuttered and her body crashed. He collapsed on top of her, hard and heavy and breathing hard, but more relaxed than she had seen him in a while. That was until his body tensed up like someone had thrown ice water on him.

"By the Angel," he rolled off her faster than she thought he could even move. She had assumed that without training every day the way he once had would have left him slower than he used to be. He was not slow. He sat up on the bed, the sheet falling at his waist and looked at her in horror. "Are you okay?" he asked frantically.

"Jem?" she asked him, frustrated. She had been very comfortable and warm and now she felt awkward and the cool air made her shiver, and not in a way she liked. "Why would I not be okay?"

"I fell on top of you and—I didn't smash the baby, did I? Or you? It didn't—"

"Oh, by the Angel, Jem," she cut him off with a smile and a shake of her head. "No," she just grabbed his hand and pulled him back down to lay beside her. He still looked skeptical, as if he were a giant to had just stepped on a small puppy. "No, you didn't. Really Jem, you can't treat me as if I'm made of glass because I'm pregnant."

Jem only grunted. "As your husband, I argue that I retain that right." At her withering glare, he further explained, "but I shall try to quell that right for now."

She only laughed and wrapped her arm around his torso and laid her head against his bare chest. His hand ran up and down her back in short strokes. She didn't have to look up to know that he was smiling.

 **That was so much fun writing. Please follow, favorite, and review. I'm thinking about continuing with the story. What do you guys think?**

 **Also, I have no Beta so all issues are mine. I really tried to make sure this was okay but there still might be some.**

 **What do you think they should have? Review and tell me?**

 **Boy or girl?**

 **And names—for the girl of course. We all know what it would be if it was a boy.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here it is!**

 **Thank you guys so much who reviewed. It really gave me the motivation I sorely lack.**

CHAPTER TWO

"Jem," Tessa whispered. It was clear that he had not heard her, his face remaining lax and soft, the tale-tell sign of sleep. "Jem, let me up."

Still nothing.

It was one of the things she had been surprised, but delighted, to learn about him. He loved to snuggle: a lot.

He was on his back and his arm was around her, pulling her into his body so that her face was pressed against the side of his bare chest and their legs were tangled in each other's.

She remembered that when he was a boy he had been a light sleeper. Tessa didn't know if that was a result of the yin fin or something else, but he was most certainly not a light sleeper anymore.

She kissed the underside of her jaw, the only place she could reach while being smashed in his armpit. He let out a soft sigh and hugged her tighter.

"Jem," she ran her fingertips across the fine hair at his navel. He stirred and buried his face in her hair groaning.

"Why's it so bright in here?" he asked, his voice rough and croaky.

Another thing she had learned. He was not a morning person.

"It's called the sun, Dear," she teased him. "You should see it sometime."

They were in Amsterdam in a low rent—as low rent as you could get in the city—apartment, and despite the fact that it was freezing, the sun seemed to blare at all times.

"Mhh," he murmured, letting his hand wander over her shirt-clad belly and the small bump there and she felt, more than seen him smile. "But you are not in the sun," was all he said.

She giggled and laid her hand over his much larger one. She had started to show just recently. At four months, it was not huge, not even noticeable with larger clothing, but Jem and she had noticed.

"Let me up," she kissed the side of his mouth and pushed at him until he reluctantly loosened his grip and allowed her to slid out of the bed. At his dismayed face, she leaned back down and kissed him on the mouth once before walking off the small bathroom adjacent to their bedroom.

She used it and did her usual morning routine, washing her face with warm water and brushing her teeth. She ran a brush through her hair, frizzing it up.

When she came out, Jem was sprawled back on the bed, one arm behind his head and a content smile on his face. "Of all you outfits over the years," he said, a content smile on his face, "this is my favorite one."

She looked down at what she was wearing. It was a severely oversized t-shirt that fell mid thigh but left a lot of leg out there. It was one of Jem's she had stolen out of the clean laundry before it could even be put up.

She laughed and shook her head, falling down beside him on her stomach. "Sometimes I think you walked right out of a bad romance novel," she told him.

"So I'm a bad romantic?" he asked lightly, though she could sense the genuine worry.

"Too good to be true."

His eyes softened and she reached out and ran the back of her hand along his cheekbone, over the scar that cut through it.

"I was thinking about going to the Silent Brothers," he said, closing his eyes and reaching up to cradle her hand in his, stopping the light strokes. He had that look on his face that was absent before he joined the brotherhood, a look he got when the sensations of everything—all the humanity—bombarded him and became so overwhelming that he couldn't think straight. He had told her as much once. "I would feel more comfortable with their practices as I am familiar with them. They will need to perform the protection ritual anyways. I may not be a shadowhunter anymore, but our child will be, that is," he opened his brown eyes and looked at her seriously, "if it is alright with you?"

"Of course, Jem," she murmured. "I have always known that. I know how shadowhunter blood thrums through the veins of those it inhabits. I would not take that away from our child. To do that would be to take a part of them with it."

His smile had started small and grown with each gentle word that left her mouth. He smiled and gathered her up against his chest and held her to him, her head beneath his chin and his hands stroking a thin line down her arm.

She knew he wanted to say something else but was holding it back. But she didn't want to push for it, so she curled her arm around his chest and listened to the beating of his heart that no longer fluttered weakly when he had not taken enough of the drug.

"Tessa?" he asked.

"Mhm?"

"What do you think about moving close to an institute?" It was meant as a question but the way he said it made it sound more like a plea. "I have thought about it a lot lately. The child will need to be trained and, though I could do it, I think it would be better if they could be around Nephilim children their own age. Perhaps they could even find their future parabatai."

Tessa's hand was rubbing small circles over his heart—over the faded parabatai rune. She knew what the bond meant to him better than anyone and what a joy it would bring him if their child found one. "I think it is a wonderful idea," she told him. "Perhaps the New York or the Los Angeles Institutes."

"Yes." He sounded distracted, and she wondered if he was as lost in their future as she was. "If it's a boy do you want to—"

"Yes." It was a simple answer that they both had already known. Name him William? She did. She remembered the feeling of peace and remembrance that naming their son James had given both her and Will. It was like he was still with them even when he had been in the depths of the Silent City.

She remembered what Magnus had told her after Will had died.

"One is never truly gone," he had said, an orange cat in his arms, its tail curled around. "Not so long as they live on in the memories of those they cared about and who cared about them. You are immortal Tessa, and in that sense, so is he."

"And if it's a girl?" he asked her.

"Oh, I don't know. What do you think?" She sat up a little and folded her arms beneath her on his chest. His hand moved to play with the ends of her hair.

His hand played up and down her arm again. "What about your mother's name? It was Elizabeth, right? I always liked that name."

"That is a nice thought," Tessa smiled softly. She couldn't remember her mother but she had been one of the bravest women Tessa believed she could think of. She had known there was something different about her daughter and when a stranger came up and gave her a necklace that he said would save her child she had taken it and raised Tessa with love. "My mother never got to be the shadowhunter she was born to be. There could be an Elizabeth that could."

"I love the name," Jem said. "Elizabeth Carstairs—what do you think?"

"Beautiful," Tessa said. She leaned forward and swept his hair from his eyes. It was more of an excuse to touch him that anything else. "Perhaps her middle name could be Charlotte." It seemed reasonable enough. The woman had been a mother figure to both of them.

"Yes," Jem said smiling and leaning in to kiss her, but before he did, he stopped and got a strange look on his face then. It wasn't a pleasant look. "If it is a girl," he frowned, "then I hope she looks like me."

Tessa felt the beginnings of hurt set in. "Why do you say that?" she asked lightly.

"Because," he spoke matter of fact, "that way I don't have to worry about potential suitors."

Tessa laughed and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Oh, Jem. Don't be ridiculous. If she looks like you then we'll have to beat the boys off the door."

"With a seraph blade?" he suggested, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Well if we do that then you'll never get any grandchildren," she reasoned. "Don't you want grandchildren?"

Jem looked horrified. "I can think of a few instances in which this child was conceived. And in none of those would I wish for my daughter to participate in."

Tessa laughed again and rolled over on his chest so her back was pressed against him. He put his arms around her and placed his hands on her abdomen. It was an endearing gesture he did unconsciously and she adored.

"So, for a girl, we've picked Elizabeth Charlotte Carstairs, and if it's a boy then it's William…" she trailed off.

He pondered for a moment. "How do you feel about Jonah?"

She smiled, for she knew it was his father's name. "It's lovely," she spoke, staring up at the ceiling. "William Jonah Carstairs."

They laid there for a little while longer, one of his hands on her stomach and the other playing through her messy hair.

"Perhaps we should go now," Tessa suggested, rolling over so that they were centimeters apart.

Jem looked surprised. "To the Brothers?" he asked.

There was a way he had spoken about the Silent Brothers when he had first gotten back as if he were still one himself. She was glad to note that she could no longer detect his previous attachment to them in his voice.

"Yes," she said, hopping up and stripping down to her bra and panties and slipping on some clothes. She didn't think the Silent Brothers cared if she looked nice or not.

"But—"

"I'm four months along. It's a perfectly good time for a visit," she reasoned, shimmying into her pants. They were made of a soft, stretchy material that was so comfortable and slid over her growing stomach easily. Jem had purchased them for her after watching her brutal struggle with the denim jeans a week prior. "Besides," she said, "when I was pregnant with James and Lucie we visited at least twice a week."

Jem laughed. "For perfectly reasonable concerns, I'm sure."

"Absolutely," she agreed sitting back down on the bed and to kiss his lips long and soft. "Our concerns were quite reasonable. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Perhaps, not agree, per se," he shrugged self-depreciatingly, a little smile playing at the corners of his kissed lips, "but I can't say I objected."

Tessa let out a laugh and hauled him up off the bed by his hand. "Come on then. Get ready now."

He dressed in silence while Tessa leaned against the door frame, tapping her foot and fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Ahh," Jem drawled. He sounded triumphant. "I know what this is about."

"You do?" Tessa asked, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows in challenge.

"You want to know if the baby's a boy or girl."

"And you don't?" she asked surprised. "I've been wallowing in curious sorrow for months and you don't even care?"

"Do you?" he teased.

"Well," she paused. "No, but I still want to know because—well, I just want—"

"To know," he finished for her. "I know you do. Curiosity always had you there. I was wondering how long you'd last."

She huffed indignantly but he just smiled and took her arm in his.

The trip to the Silent City had been a short, silent one with Tessa driving and Jem flipping through stations. Most of the time the radio stayed on the classical channel, but Jem was coming around to the idea of pop and a few others, though he still cringed when he flipped to a rock station.

They pulled up in front of a normal looking cemetery, but both knew it was not. Inside the tall, willowing mausoleum that stood at the end of the cemetery was one of the entrances to the City of Bones.

As soon as they were out of the car Jem tensed beside her and she reached out blindly for his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Even though he didn't act like he was one of the Brothers anymore, Tessa knew this place stored anything but happy memories for him.

"Ready?" she asked.

He nodded and began walking forward.

They were greeted at the door by a Silent Brother who could have passed for a statue standing stone still and holding a staff in one hand.

 _James Carstairs and Theresa Gray_ , he spoke, and though his voice, even in her mind, was utterly unlike Jem's in every way possible, a shiver passed through her at the remembrance of that once being the way Jem had spoken to her. _What business brings you to the City of Bones_ , he asked.

It was Jem who spoke.

"Brother Ephraim," he sounded stiff—professional. Tessa liked her soft, sweet, cuddling Jem so much better than this one. "My wife is with child and we should like to know that everything is alright and progressing normally."

The Silent Brother bowed his head slightly, his hood falling lower, and held out a stony arm towards the entrance. _Then welcome_ , he said and turned to escort them.

Jem and Tessa followed silently, still hand in hand, into the stone corridors of the Silent City. Tessa didn't know where they were going but Jem seemed to know even before Brother Ephraim did.

After a dew minute of walking, brother Ephraim stopped. _We have arrived,_ he said, standing in front of a stone door that looked like every other door.

Brother Ephraim walked away and Jem reached out and pushed the door open. Though such a large structure should have been loud when being moved, it didn't make a sound. Tessa realized that she could not see where the door hinged.

Inside the room was more of the same—stone walls with witchlight torches lining them and the same cold, unwelcoming atmosphere. There was a table in the middle of the room, more stone, though Tessa expected nothing less.

Tessa walked forward and crawled up onto the table, Jem helping her. She only vaguely remembered the room from the last times she had been there. It was so long ago. When her back touched the cold, rough surface of the table, her mind was bombarded with an onset of the past.

Hours of Jem—Brother Zachariah—standing over her, feeling her stomach and running tests to make sure everything was okay, taking far longer than was necessary to perform every task; Will leaning back against the wall having strange conversations with Jem about demon pox and ducks. Even when they could no longer pretend to actually be doing anything, Tessa would sit up and hold Jem's cold hand, knowing that he could not feel it, at least in any way that felt human to him, but knowing also that he was doing it for her comfort, and in that she knew he was still human. No other Silent Brother would care about her comfort.

"Tessa," Jem asked, worry tinging his voice. She realized he had asked her something.

"I'm fine," she reached out and grabbed his hand. "Just thinking about all the times I've been here before."

Jem smiled wistfully. Tessa knew that he did not miss being a Silent Brother. That was not what the wistful expression was for. It was for Will.

He opened his mouth to speak when the stone door slid open again.

"Brother Enoch," Jem said, his voice not as stiff as it had been when he had been speaking to the other Silent Brother.

Tessa supposed she could understand. Besides how Brother Zachariah had been, Brother Enoch was the most human of all the Brothers. He was the one who had allowed Jem, after just placing the marks of the Brotherhood upon him for a few days, to travel to Cadair Idris and fight. He was also the one who had allowed Will, with all his rambunctious stories to see Jem. And when he was healed, he allowed Jem's vows to them to void. Though it was said that this was the Consul's decision, it was not. The Silent Brothers were not at the beck and call of the Consul or the Council. They were another branch entirely and had their own laws and ways.

 _James Carstairs and Theresa Gray_ , Brother Enoch said, bowing his head in acknowledgment. _I assume if you are here for our assistance, you wish for the child to be a shadowhunter._

Tessa knew it was more of a question than an assumption. Had they said no, that they did not intend for the child to be a shadowhunter, that the brothers would have no heed nor vow that required them to help her and Jem.

"Yes," Jem said. "The child will be raised a shadowhunter."

 _Very well,_ Brother Enoch said coming forward. _Let us begin_.

He came over to her and felt her stomach, took blood and pieces of hair. By the end of the examination, she was tired and her back hurt from the hard stone slab. It was strange. Tessa had never remembered feeling anything but comfort when it was Jem—Brother Zachariah.

 _All is well_ , Enoch said finally, gathering his hood and pulling it up _. Both mother and child are healthy and thriving._

Neither she nor Jem had suspected anything was wrong with the baby, but it was reassuring to know.

 _Would you like to know the gender_ , Enoch asked.

Jem and Tessa looked at each other, their eyes confirming what both already knew.

"Yes," Jem said.

Tessa could tell he was interested, but it was nothing against her burning curiosity. Jem had been right. She didn't really care what the child was. She'd love it the same no matter what. But she wanted to know.

Plus, she had to start making arrangements, and she was sure that Magnus would want to know so he could start picking out outfits and planning the baby shower. She had called him a week prior to give him the news and he had been ecstatic, telling her all his grand plans and promising to give her and Jem the dire help they would obviously need on the baby's wardrobe.

She had not told Jem about this development.

A shuffle of parchment robes brought her back to the present.

 _It is a girl_ , Brother Enoch said at last. He then turned and walked out the door to wait for them in the corridor and escort them out.

Tessa turned to look at Jem who was grinning such a happy grin that she launched herself into his arms and peppered his face with kisses.

"A girl," he said, his voice sounding miraculous and startled. "We're going to have a little girl. Little Ellie."

"Ellie?" Tessa laughed. "Is that her new nickname?"

Jem picked her up by the waist and kissed her through the giggle. It was a terrible kiss because they both were smiling so big it wouldn't work and by the end of it, they were just laughing into each other's mouths.

"Oh!" Tessa started, pulling back. "I must call Magnus."

"Magnus?" Jem asked.

"Yes, he's going to help me with her nursery—the color schemes and patterns and whatnot. He's also planning her baby shower, so he'll have to know—" she meandered on, all the while Jem just stood looking warily at her.

 **So, what do you guys think? Please read and review.**

 **UP NEXT: Magnus throws Elizabeth's baby shower at the New York Institute.**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Magnus had really outdone himself, Tessa thought in bewilderment.

The New York Institute was done up beautifully. Round tables sat all around, pink—and sparkly, of course—tablecloths atop them. Silver vases, each with a single white rose, was placed in the middle of them. At the back of the room was a long buffet-like table that was adorned with the same setup as the smaller ones, and a large crystal punch bowl sat in the middle.

There were so many people, but that wasn't what surprised her. It was the fact that she knew everyone that shocked her. She didn't realize before then how many people her little girl would have to call family.

Perhaps she did not know them well, that was true. She had never really talked to the Lightwood girl, though Magnus had told her that Simon Lovelace had proposed and they were well on their way to their wedding, so she was soon to be a Lovelace girl. Tessa made a note to congratulate her when she got the chance.

But everyone else—Magnus, Catarina, Jocelyn, Luke, Emma, Julian, the Blackthorn twins—Livvy and Ty—, and the younger two Dru and Tavvy, along with Clary, Alec, Max and Rafael, Maryse, Robert, Jace—Jace.

She had talked to him briefly at Shadowhunter Academy. He had confronted her and won her heart over, even if he did not know it. It was not difficult. With his beautiful face like Will's and Jamie's eyes, he was like a breath of the past, warm and familiar, but fresh.

She felt Jem squeeze her hand in comfort and saw him swallow. She wondered if he was as bombarded as she was the sight that lay in front of them.

The Institutes had mostly the same layout, especially the larger ones, and the New York Institute and the London Institute's ballrooms were eerily similar. Everything from the eighteenth-century chandelier to the mahogany trim that had been installed in every major Institute of each continent during the 1740 renovation act was the same and had Tessa not known that they were in fact, in New York City, she would've sworn they were in London again.

"Tessa!" Magnus noticed her. He stuck his arms out and did an extravagant bow. "Does the Lady approve?"

"She does," Tessa spoke through the giggle that escaped her throat. "In fact, she's very impressed. How on earth did you get everyone to look so well put together?"

"Never fret my Dear," Magnus exclaimed, throwing a single finger into the air. "By the night's end, they shall all be naked and the punch will have been laced."

"Don't be ridiculous, Magnus." Jace came up from behind him. His blonde curls were more tamed than usual, probably per Clary's demand, and he looked more grown up and mature than the last time she had seen him. "The punch has already been laced."

Though he was a Herondale, Tessa mused, and it seemed that their minds never aged with their bodies, at least in her experience. No matter how old Will might have been, he always acted like the same wild-haired, blue-eyed boy she had first met.

"So not safe for my consumption then?" Tessa questioned lightly. _What a Herondale thing to do, she mused_ , then berated herself. It was her hardest task—not comparing every descendant she met of someone she had known to those people. Isabelle to Cecily, Clary to Henry and Charlotte, Jace to Will and James.

"Don't worry," Jace waved her concerns off, motioning to the corner where a large and equally beautiful punch bowl sat on a small table beside a chocolate fountain and an array of fruit. "There are safe drinks that way, and you'll probably get them all to yourself. Except for Izzy, of course."

Tessa wondered if Isabelle didn't drink, which she found strange. The Lightwoods, Cecily too, even though then a lady was not supposed to consume alcoholic beverages then, had always been rather fond of their fermented drinks.

"Tessa," Alec came up, running at a slow jog. He immediately went in for a hug, his back arching awkwardly as her belly created a barrier. Tessa had always liked Alec, though she had no idea where his disposition came from. As far as Lightwoods and their wives' families—the Herondales, the Truebloods, and the rest—Alec was nothing like any of them. The closest thing she could compare him to was Gideon, though he looked like Cecily.

Regardless, she had always been fond of him. He had made Magnus happy and taken in a warlock child to call his own, an admirable trait for a shadowhunter.

"It's good to see you," he said, pulling back and smiling. He shook Jem's hand and congratulated him before turning back to Tessa. "I hope you like everything. Magnus has been going crazy for the past month about everything." He broke off into a grin and looked at Magnus. "Just know that we didn't get one of those 'couple gifts'. The present he got you is from him, not us. I got something else for our 'we present'. Just thought I'd get that out there."

Magnus had been holding a silent grin the whole time, not speaking up as to what his boyfriend was on about. At Jem's withering look though, he let a minuscule detail slip. "I just figured that little Elizabeth was going to be getting plenty—I still got her something, but I spent the majority of my present budget on something for the expecting parents." Everyone looked warily at him, except for Alec, who looked tremendously amused, that was until Magnus let another detail slip. "Alec loves it, so I have no doubt that—"'

Alec let out a small shout of horror and pulled a proud Magnus away by the arm, out of sight and earshot of the remaining crowd.

Jem cleared his throat, his expression uncomfortable. "So, um, do we just sit anywhere or are there assigned seats or—"

Jace let out a whoop of laughter and hit Jem on the shoulder in one of those manly gestures that Tessa could never quite understand and always thought a bit barbaric. It mimicked something that Will might have done had he been there.

"Sit wherever you like, then," Jace grinned. "Though I would advise against opening Magnus's gift until you two are at home. You should've seen what he got me—well me and Clary—for my birthday. She was so mortified when I opened it." His eyes were dreamy when he recalled the memory as if it were the fond recollections of a most romantic evening. Tessa could only imagine, and then she wished she hadn't.

"Oh Jace, leave her alone," a dark-haired girl, who Tessa recognized as Isabelle berated him. "Come on," she waved Jem and Tessa to follow her, which both did without question. Tessa looked over at Jem to see his cheeks were a dark red. "You guys obviously got the best table," Isabelle continued, escorting them to a small table that sat in the middle of the floor. It looked like all the rest, but instead of one white rose in the vase, there was a whole bouquet. Tessa couldn't help but notice the way Isabelle's hand seemed to rest on her stomach, and Jace's comment about her and Isabelle being the only ones who would drink the non-spiked beverages came back to her mind.

The sound of a spoon hitting a champagne glass interrupted her thoughts.

"Attention, attention everyone," Magnus called out. He was standing on one of the tables and Alec was underneath him looking disapproving. The room slowed to a quiet halt. "Our guests of honor are here and it's time to begin to celebrate. I ask that you refrain from getting wasted until presents have been opened and cake has been eaten. After which you may do whatever you like, as long as the table cloths stay clean. It's real satin and if you puke on one, you will buy it."

Tessa giggled at Magnus's speech, for it was such a Magnus thing to say, and she saw Jem smile. The color in his cheeks had died down to a cool pink and he seemed more at ease.

The events that followed were a blur. Cake was passed out, and Magnus informed them that there were still two whole tiers left for them to take home. Presents were opened and thank yous were given. Clary got them a handmade and decorated scrapbook with empty places that could be filled with pictures. Jace got a large box of diapers, and had taken the time to write out a saying on each with multicolored sharpies, things like 'Caution: Open in a well-ventilated area', and 'Warning: May cause nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting'. Isabelle gave a few sets of clothes, all of which Tessa fell in love with. Simon had a large array of onesies with funny quotes that made all the women in the group giggle and Isabelle shake her head. Emma got them miniature shadowhunter gear and a wooden sword that Tessa thought looked an awful lot like Cortana. Julien and Alec, the practical ones it seemed, had bought them diapers, infant soap, baby towels, teething rings, socks, bottles and other necessities. Magnus gave them flamboyant outfits covered in sparkles and a few toys to go along. They had stuck to Jace's advice and asked Isabelle if she would sit Magnus's gift for them aside.

Before long, the gifts were over and it was declared it was time for games.

"Tessa, what is that?" Jem whispered to her as they stared at the wall where a funny looking pink thing was plastered. It looked like a crude form of pin the tail. On the side, it read, 'PIN THE SPERM ON THE EGG,' and then in bubbly letters, 'WIN A PRIZE IF YOU FERTILIZE.' Tessa realized in horror that the pink thing was meant to represent ovaries. Inside of them was a smiley face inside an egg shape.

Tessa's hand flew over her mouth in an attempt to hide her mortified giggle.

"Tessa?" Jem asked.

"And this game here is for the gentlemen," Magnus voiced, holding up a long white thing with another smiley face on its—what Tessa supposed to be its face. "Except for Alec and myself, of course. No fertilization going on there." Alec just turned red and shook his head at his boyfriend. "So who wants to go first?" Magnus held out the sperm pin.

"What's this supposed to be, papa?" a little dark haired shadowhunter child asked. Rafael reached out for the plush sperm pin.

"Nothing you need to worry about, Raf," Magnus quickly snatched the pin back, looking disheveled.

Jace stepped forward. "Obviously, the father gets to go first," he took the pin and held it out to Jem, a smirk on his lips. "We've got to see if your game's that good or if it was just a lucky shot."

Jem turned beet red and started to protest, but it seemed Jace was having none of that and in the end, Jem was forced to accept the pin.

Magnus came up behind him and tied a blindfold over his eyes, securing it at the back of his head and handing him the pin. He and Jace then took him and spun him around several times before letting him go.

Tessa stood amused and slightly bewildered. It was such an ordinary thing for people to do—play baby shower games and joke and jest. She and Jem were far from normal, as were the shadowhunters at the New York Institute. They were shadowhunters after all. It surprised her that they even knew how to plan a normal baby shower, much less execute it.

"You can thank Simon for that," Magnus whispered to her. Tessa looked over her shoulder at him. He smiled like a Cheshire. "Apparently, he's seen his mom and sister plan baby showers before and picked up a few ideas. Isabelle helped set it up to."

Tessa made a note to thank Isabelle and Simon later. She found that even though she didn't know him very well, she liked Simon. He had an amusing personality and didn't care if everyone knew that he knew how to plan a baby shower.

A series of awws and so closes brought her back to the party. Jem had stuck the sperm pin a few inches away from the egg. He didn't seem to care much and appeared glad to get away from all the attention.

"That was both humiliating and amusing," he told her as he took her hand and kissed her on the cheek.

"My turn!" Jace announced gleefully, snatching the sperm pin away from Magnus.

Jem shook his head ruefully at the boy's shenanigans, and Tessa wondered if he compared Jace to Will as much as she did. Wanting to avoid bringing up a topic that she knew would make them both wistful, she only sat quietly and watched as the blonde Herondale pondered where to stick the pin.

To their surprise, he stuck it directly on the egg.

"Oh, you cheated," Isabelle complained, snatching the pin out of the wall and handing it over to Simon who accepted it with a wary look, one that wanted to deny but knew better in the face of his fiancé. "There's no way you just knew the exact spot to put it."

Jace just rolled his eyes. "I always know where to put it," he said, handing the blindfold over to Simon. "Just ask Clary—ow! Clary!"

The red head girl pointed her finger at him. "You've been making rude innuendos all night. I'm tired of it."

"You're just mad cause I'm the best fertilizer," he countered bravely, then took a step back.

Tessa and Jem watched on with growing amusement as the couple bantered back and forth, that was until Isabelle decided to step in.

"Obviously, Jem's the best fertilizer," she said reasonably.

The blush that had spread over his cheeks earlier now came back full force as he stuttered out something that wasn't quite words.

"Okay fine," Jace agreed. "But I'm the second-best fertilizer at least. And you _know_ what that means for you Clary," he poked her in the stomach.

Clary slapped his hand. "Oh, stop it Jace. If you keep acting like this and you won't the chance to fertilize anything for a _long time_."

Their banter continued before Magnus deemed it was time to play more games.

They played the normal baby shower games. Clary was extraordinarily bad at them. She had dropped the sack of potatoes that was supposed to be the baby, scaled the milk, and put the diaper on the doll backward. To everyone's surprise, when it came to the skill games such as changing diapers blindfolded and identifying different types of baby food, nearly every one of them was won by either Julian or Emma. Everyone else was shocked at the development and laughed, saying they knew where to drop their kids off at, but Tessa knew, and she knew Jem knew too—they had learned all those things first hand, very young, not out of want, but need.

Jem had told her how guilty he had felt about not being there for Emma, especially when he knew what she went through, having lost his own parents at the same age. Tessa felt a sense of responsibility towards the Blackthorns too. This was like a stab of guilt through both of them.

By the end of the night, everyone was worn down and tired, but happy in a way that shadowhunters usually weren't. The sat with the chairs all pulled away from the tables in an odd circle, while some sat on the floor. Jace was leaned back against a wall and Clary was cradled in his lap. Simon was sitting cross-legged and Isabelle had her head in his lap. Julian was leaned up against a wall as well, and Emma had her feet propped up on his thighs. Most of the older adults were in chairs though.

They sat talking about silly things and the future. Jace and Clary offered both her and Jem a place in the New York Institute if they ever wanted back in the shadowhunter world, and Emma demanded that they stay at the Los Angeles Institute at least a little so she could spend time with the newest Carstairs. Jem had agreed whole-heartedly to both the request and the demand, but not before sharing a look with Tessa to confirm that she wanted it as well. Even if she had not of wanted to stay at either Institute, which she did, the plead in his silver-flacked eyes would have won her over.

"So, do you guys think you're going to have another one after Ellie?" Emma asked, sipping her drink. They had, of course, talked about the baby, it was her baby shower after all, and at the beginning of the party she was Elizabeth, but by now she was being referred to as Ellie by everyone.

"I think I would," Tessa smiled. "If Jem wants to, of course."

"I certainly won't object," he smiled, rubbing his thumb over the back of their clasped hands.

Alec laughed softly, his eyes resting on a spot in the corner. "It might be time to start heading home," he said, pointing to the area where they had left the younger kids to play.

Rafael was curled up on his side, and Max was using his brother's calf as a pillow. Livvy sat over them asleep, her head resting in the palm of her hand and Tavvy leaned up against her arm, his cheek smashing adorably against her shoulder. Ty, who had gone with Livvy when she went to watch the kids, was sitting cross-legged, a book in his lap. He didn't appear to notice that everyone was staring at him, too engrossed in whatever he was reading.

His dark head, bent down between the crease of a book, reminded Tessa of her own boys. Her Will and James, who this boy shared blood with. But he did not have her Will's blue eyes, nor Jamie's golden ones, but hers, gray and stormy.

"Yes," Tessa agreed, smiling softly at the scene. "It probably is. Thank you all," she said sincerely, looking around at everyone. "I enjoyed myself tonight. It has been a while since I've had so much fun and good company."

"That goes for me as well," Jem said.

Everyone burst into action, giving hugs and well wishings. All of them helped load the presents and remainders of the cake into Jem and Tessa's new sedan, which Jem had done copious amounts of research on to find the safest vehicle.

Before, they hadn't had a car. They portaled where they wanted to go and walked to go sightseeing, the way they used to when they were young and Jem showed her London. They didn't have a need for a car until now when they were planning on settling down somewhere. They had stopped traveling as much as they used to, and Tessa knew that soon, they would have to cease their travels altogether. Jem had expressed his concern that their daughter might be born in a far-off land with no running water, and they had agreed that they would find somewhere before she was due.

They sat now, hands clasped over the console of the sedan, tired but happy smiles etched into their faces that Tessa felt would last forever.

"That was nice," Tessa said.

"It was," he agreed. "But sometimes I can't help but see the past in them. Not that I dislike that," he added quickly, "I am glad to know that or child—perhaps our children," he added bashfully, "will have a family of people who care about them."

Tessa took his hand and kissed the back of it, feeling the scars that ran over beneath her lips.

"Hey!" a loud voice and knock against the glass of the window pulled them out of their comfortable reverie.

Tessa looked out but saw no one. Then a small hand banged again, low on the window.

Tessa opened the door slowly as to not hit the child that was banging on her window. She was surprised to find Octavian Blackthorn at her feet, tired looking, but a determined look in his blue-green, Blackthorn eyes.

"Yes, Octavian?" she asked gently, kneeling eye level to him. He wasn't very tall, and he was too slight for his age, but Tessa could look at his ancestors and siblings and know he would be tall and built well one day.

"I forgot my present for you guys in the car today," he told her excitedly. She noticed a square object under his arm, badly wrapped in Christmas paper. "So I'll just give it to you now." He pushed the gift into her hands. "Open it." He rocked back on his heels.

Tessa smiled gently at the boy's eagerness and handled his gift like it was made of precious metal. It felt heavy and familiar in her hands. A book, she realized. Go figure. That was a Blackthorn gift.

Her fingers were nimble as she began to carefully unwrap it, taking care not to lose stray pieces in the wind to be spread over the city. When it was undone, she stared down at a hardbacked, dark covered book. It was then that she realized it had felt familiar for more reasons than just the fact that it was a book.

Tessa's hand ran over the cover in wonder.

The book had been made in 1891, but Tessa remembered when it was brand new, when the smell of binding glue and fresh leather still hung to it, and Lucie, at four years old, but a master of wooing her father into getting her what she wanted, had become the proud owner of the book. Her favorite book, full of stories of brave shadowhunters and tragic tales. Will would read her one every night, and James as well, as he had come to love the contents of the book as much as his little sister.

"Aunt Marjorie gave it to me when we went to see her," Octavian said, seeing Tessa's face and looking uncomfortable. "I liked it a lot and I thought that Ellie might, too."

Tessa opened the book. On the back of the first page was a faded scrawl of worlds—'Lucie Herondale'. Written below that in considerably more terrible handwriting, was 'and papa'.

Tessa remembered when she had come home, proudly holding the book, too big for her to properly carry, so she cradled it to her chest and wrapped both arms around it.

Will had sat her down at the library table and took her chubby hand in his calloused, scarred one, showing her again the right way to hold a pen, and together the two wrote her name in shaky script. Lucie had gone back later and added her father's name—which at four years old was only papa—because it was their book.

Tessa hugged Octavian tight, taking the little boy by surprise, but he melted into it slowly and hugged her back, the book pressed awkwardly in between them.

"Thank you, Octavian," Tessa whispered in his ear.

"You're welcome," he said.

When she let him go he gave her a quick smile before darting off as his brother called him in the distance.

"Bye, Tessa,' he said over his shoulder, running back to his siblings.

Tessa stayed on the ground, kneeling in the gravel until Jem came around and touched her shoulder lightly.

"Tessa?" Tessa looked up at her husband, the father of her child, and the man she loved. "Tessa," he said, kneeling beside her and running his hand over her shoulder and down her back soothingly. "I think if Lucie were still here, she would have wanted her younger sister to have it."

Tessa let out a sob and buried her head against Jem's arm. He wrapped her in an embrace, holding her to him and rocking gently, knowing well that one day she would be cradling the remnants of their past together and he would not be there to comfort her.

* * *

 **UP NEXT: The pushing of a miniature shadowhunter out of a vagina. *Clears throat* *snickers* The birth of Elizabeth Carstairs. Unless you guys want to see something else first. But after her birth things will start to go pretty fast.**


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

The house was moderately sized, and the yard was plenty big. It was far too normal for the price that they had paid, but they were in New York. Not directly in the city. Houses weren't sold in the city, just apartments, and they wanted their own home. Had it not been for the fact that Tessa had had nearly a century to acquire her wealth, the price would have been out of the question.

They had moved in just a month after the baby shower, and had now been living in it for almost two months. Magnus had gathered Jace and Alec and Simon to move the furniture and larger items, and Jem had helped with it as well. Tessa, Isabelle, Clary, and Catarina had worked on decorating it—picking paint colors so Izzy, as she had asked Tessa to call her, could force one of the boys to do. They chose the couch pillows and ordered paintings, which Clary picked mostly, per her artistic ability. Catarina kept Tessa company most of the time, as everyone had sat her out of the process. She had wanted to argue, but her feet hurt and all she wanted to do was sit and eat chocolate. Which was strange, because she had always hated chocolate. Apparently, Ellie did not.

Tessa was surprised at how well the house had turned out. Everywhere she went, every corner she turned, she could see a little bit of all the people who were becoming her new family. She had not thought it possible, but it was happening.

Every day, little by little, she would find something about Isabelle and not compare her to Cecily. She would see Clary and find that she was not only a replica of people she once loved, but a person who had many differences as well. Jace was harder. It was difficult not to see the past that stretched out behind him and that she was so intertangled in. But she was starting to see the people who were trying so very hard to make her comfortable as new people—strangers instead of descendants—and she was getting to know them.

"Tessa?" Jem knocked lightly on the doorframe, leaning against it and looking at her with a happy smile.

And then there was their favorite room in the house. It was a room that they had furnished and decorated themselves—a mix between a library and a music room. Shelves lined the walls, books from over the ages that Tessa had collected, some that Will had collected, filling them. In the corner, there was a wooden music stand, and the bookshelf behind it was filled with music books. Tessa and Jem had picked out the paint, the furniture, the décor, and had placed all their most beloved items in the room. It had come out with a soft glow and the smell of memories. The Guarneri leaned up against the shelf, the bow beside it, having just been played, per Tessa's request.

They had gone to visit the Los Angeles Institute a month ago, and Emma had asked Jem if he was going to teach Ellie to play. When he had told her he would like to, the blonde had taken him, confused and wondering, to her room and dropped to the end of her bed on her knees, digging through the wooden trunk. When she had pulled out the 150-year-old violin, dusted and as beautiful as it had always been, his eyes had filled with tears and he had carefully taken the beloved instrument in his hands. Emma had told him that, though she had never learnt to play it, she knew how to tune it, and it was always in tune to keep the strings from wearing down. She gave him a jar of rosin and then told him that if he wanted it, he had to play it for her first.

His fingers were rusty at first—almost hundred years out of practice—but after a moment, thought ceased and his hands moved with memory, playing the first song his father had taught him when he was a boy.

"I remember that one," Emma had said, smiling softly. "My dad tried to teach me that once." She laughed at the memory. "We had had a problem with stray cats wandering up to the Institute. I fixed that."

Jem had laughed and asked her if she might like to try again, but she had consistently refused.

"Any more requests?" Jem asked, bringing Tessa back to the present. He was still leaning against the doorframe, hands stuffed into the pockets of his denim jeans.

"Do you remember the song you played for me that night in the music room?" she asked, and they both knew it wasn't a question that was answered in words.

The smile never left his face as he strode across the room and picked up the violin, hands as nimble and practiced as they were over a century ago. He brought the bow down softly, and the images that she had seen that night in the music room so long ago came back. But it was more than that now. Now there was added pictures—memories of soft eyes and silver hair, of light touches and collarbones too sharp, of nervous hands, pulling laces and interruptions by the church cat.

Tessa didn't cry often. Too many years had passed and too much heartbreak left a disconnect that she had learned to cope. But she could feel her eyes well with tears—the kind of tears that would fall weather or not you blinked.

Jem let the last note hold and then he lowered the bow.

"Did you like it?" he asked, a playful note in his voice.

Tessa laughed through the tears at the question he had asked her the first time he played it.

"Yes. Yes, I did, you—" Tessa broke off and gasped.

It scared her. She had only felt it twice before and it was so long ago that she hardly remembered the feeling.

"Tessa?" Jem asked, his dark eyebrows pinched and his face worried.

She sat up straighter as another wave hit her and tried to stifle the sound that was threatening to leave her lips.

The violin loosened in Jem's grip and fell, he awkwardly fumbled and caught it before it hit the ground, setting it down rather carelessly on the top of a table. He dropped to the side of where she was seated and took her hands in his larger ones. Tessa couldn't tell if it was hers or his hands that were shaking so hard. Perhaps it was both of theirs.

"Tessa?" Jem asked, and they both knew what the question was, even if it wasn't directly stated.

"Y—Yes," Tessa stuttered out. "I think so." She could see a cold sweat beginning to form on his brow. She took his face in her hands, and held him. His eyes were wide and startled. "T—Take me to the In—Institute," she said.

"The Institute?"

"Yes."

They could have gone to a hospital. It wasn't uncommon. The other option was to have a child at home or at an Institute with the women helping out. Silent Brothers rarely came to aid in childbirth unless it was deemed one needed to be there. They were the ones to place the protection on the child, but that was a few days later. Brother Enoch had been there when she had had James, as none of them knew what to expect with the half-warlock-shadowhunter woman, but with Lucie, it was just Charlotte, Sophie, and Bridget. Cecily had sat by her and calmed her while the other women ran about. She remembered wishing Will was there, but the men, even the father, could not come in.

"Do you want me to text someone to have a Silent Brother there and ready?" Jem asked. He still looked slightly ill, but composed at the same time. He knew she had delivered two other children.

Tessa thought about the people at the Institute. She knew that Jem could come in with her now. Modern propriety allowed it. But the other women there would be Maryse, Clary, and Isabelle. Jocelyn might have been there, as she liked to stay with her daughter. Maryse would have delivered children before as one of the heads of the New York Institute. Isabelle seemed competent enough about children and the process. She didn't know about Clary though, who seemed to know about as much about the topic as a celibate monk did.

Tessa laughed through the pain and Jem looked even more worried.

"Yes, yes," Tessa conceded. It would ease some of Jem's worries and probably hers as well, and it couldn't hurt anything.

Jem helped her out of the chair and half carried her, despite her protests that she could walk, to the car and put her in and buckled her, getting into the driver's seat himself.

She had never been more thankful for her teaching him how to drive.

He pulled out of their driveway with considerable composure. He pulled his phone out once they were on the road and began typing, sending a message of what she assumed to be a request for the Silent Brothers. Every time she would grip the panic bar and dig her teeth into her lips, his hands would tighten on the steering wheel and he would push the gas a bit farther down. He was white knuckling the wheel by the time they arrived.

He must have told them why he would need a Silent Brother, because just about all of the people from the Institute were on the front steps. Maryse stood looking determined and poised, as always. Isabelle was holding her own stomach, where a considerable bump was. She was almost six months herself. Her face was a mask of excitement and a mirror of her mother's, and her husband was at her side looking nervous but resolute. Jace stood like a guard with Clary at his side, who looked ill. Jocelyn and her husband Luke were there as well, and both looking poised.

Jace and Simon were at her door in an instant, helping her out of the car. Tessa leaned into them, tired and hurting and not caring at all.

"I just texted Alec," Jace informed her, pulling her up. "Him and Magnus will be here any minute."

"Already here, Blondie," Magnus said, running up to them. Alec was behind him, the blue shimmer of a portal closing in the distance.

"Alright, alright," Maryse said, ushering them in. "Help her into the infirmary, then you boys," she eyed them all, "out." Then as an after comment, she added, "except for Jem, of course. He can stay."

"We shall stand guard at the door and create soothing harmonious melodies whilst fending off any foreboding passersby," Jace declared as he helped her up the steps.

Tessa let out a choked laugh at the comment and the blonde looked pleased.

They walked her to the infirmary, sitting her down gently on the bed, not being able to utter a word before Maryse was pushing them out the doors. When they were gone, only Tessa, Jem, Maryse, Jocelyn, Isabelle, and Clary were left.

"I think," Clary cleared her throat, "that I'll just go out there with—"

"No," Jocelyn said. It was the sound of a mother who would not be argued with. "You're the female head of the New York Institute. You need to know how to help deliver a child."

Clary looked frightened. "Will I be doing a lot of that?" she asked.

Maryse chuckled as she coaxed Tessa back onto the bed, stuffing pillows and blankets where they needed to be. "It does happen occasionally. Many Nephilim women prefer to come to an Institute because there are more women to help with the delivery and Silent Brothers can be called on quicker in case anything goes wrong—oh, and Brother Enoch will be here soon," she directed the last part at Tessa and Jem.

Tessa wondered if Jem had asked specifically for Brother Enoch, but the faraway thought was quickly overshadowed with another pain that left her clutching at the hand she held, a hand she didn't even realize she had been holding.

Jem smiled down at her reassuringly, despite his now white hand from her brutal grip. It was perhaps the worst reassuring look Tessa had ever seen and she had to smile back.

"Alright," Maryse sat back and put her hands on her hips, looking thoughtful. "Clary, go over to the shelf in the corner and get a gown for Tessa. Everyone else," she sighed, "get comfortable."

* * *

"By the Angel. How long is this gonna take?" Jace groaned, throwing his elbow over his face and leaning back in the chair he sat in.

Magnus sighed at the comment that he had already heard at least a dozen times.

"I told you it takes a while," he said. "Tessa was hardly even in the beginning of labor when she went in."

"Yeah, but how long is a while Magnus?" Jace asked. "What is a while in warlock time—a few days, a week, a score—"

A couch pillow hit him in the face and blue sparks fell from Magnus's hand. The warlock smiled at the new silence, even if it was replaced by an angry stare.

"Hmm," he rubbed his chin with a black fingernail. "Usually about seven or eight hours, but it can last for a lot longer."

Jace groaned and threw his head back again.

"Ah, cheer up," Simon told him awkwardly. "it's already been four hours."

Jace's head popped up and he looked as if he were about to retort with something rude, but it was cut off by a startled red head coming down the hall in a fast walk.

"Clary!" Jace jumped up. "Is she—"

"No, no," she shook her head. "No, she's not—it's—I just needed to—I'm going to take a shower."

The whole room looked speechless as she left.

"Good luck getting kids, Jace," Simon murmured.

Jace threw a pillow at his face as Alec laughed.

"You," he glowered at his parabatai, "shut up too. It's not—"

A stifled scream broke him off and all the boys cringed at the sound, knowing exactly what is was from.

"I'm so glad I'm not a woman," Simon shivered. "I have so many disturbing images in my head right now."

Not even Jace had a comment to say about that one as another scream echoed through the halls.

Magnus made a split-second decision and decided he would take the lashing he got from Tessa later.

* * *

"Alright," Maryse instructed. "Keep going. You're getting there."

"I'm not—" Tessa gasped, "getting—any—where."

"Yes, you are. Come on."

Jem looked as bad as she did, that one might think they were both delivering a child. His hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat and his breath rose in intensity with hers. His hand was squeezing hers as hard as she was squeezing him, but she didn't mind. It was a minor distraction.

She kept thinking about when the baby got there, desperately trying to ignore the present. She wondered what she would look like, if she would be loud or quiet, if she would hold Jem's thumb and what he would look like holding her.

Another scream ripped from her throat.

"Tessa," Jem said softly, pushing her hair back with shaking hands. "Tessa," he repeated her name like a prayer. "It's okay. You're okay. Just hold onto my hand."

A shocked gasp echoed in the room, and the next moment Isabelle was screaming, "Magnus!"

Tessa eyes flew open and to the door, unfocused and blurry, but she could make out the shape of a tall dark figure with hands over its face. If she had been able to utter anything except another pained cry, she would have yelled at him.

"What are you—" Maryse was beginning to say.

Magnus held both hands up in surrender and then screamed when he realized nothing covered his eyes now and brought them back to hide behind.

"I come offering pain relieving spells and a soothing presence," he said loudly.

"Okay fine," Isabelle conceded, reaching for a large blanket on one of the other beds. She walked over to him and threw it over his head. It was thick enough that he couldn't see through. She pulled the front up so he could stick his hands out. "This way," she pushed him towards the bed.

She told him to stop when they reached Tessa's bed, and he kneeled beside her, tan hands reaching out from beneath a white quilt. He clasped the hand Jem wasn't holding between his hands.

"I'm gonna," Tessa gasped again, "kill you for this later. You k—know that, right?"

"I know," the response was muffled beneath the blanket.

Tessa laughed. She began to feel the pain-killing effects of his magic take place, numbing her body to what was happening to it. She still knew what was happening, could still feel it in a way, and knew when to push and when not to. Warlock magic, even if she wielded it herself, never ceased to seem strange.

"Thank you," she sighed, loosening her death grip on the two boys who held her.

"Time to start pushing again," Maryse said, and she did.

* * *

The pillow missed its target and hit Alec, who was in the midst of taking a drink of water, in the face.

The black-haired boy jumped up and tried, vainly, to knock the excess off of his chest, cursing at the two boys who still threw pillows at each other.

"By the Angel," he muttered. They had been sitting there for almost seven hours, and Jace was too high strung to stay seated the whole time. He would pick out little things that Simon would say and use them as excuses to throw pillows at him. Simon had gotten tired of it and began to throw them back. Clary was still nowhere to be found.

A throat cleared.

Isabelle stood, hands on her hips, looking fierce despite the bump of her stomach. Her face was a mask of disapproval as she stared at her brother and husband.

"You guys can continue to pillow fight like teenage girls at their first slumber party, or you can come see the baby."

Everyone perked up at that. Jace stumbled half up from his position behind the couch and began running to the room, but not before throwing another pillow that Simon easily ducked. The brown-haired boy didn't retaliate, he wouldn't have with Isabelle there, and waited to walk with his wife.

"So, what do you think?" Alec asked her as they began to walk towards the room.

Isabelle shrugged. "Kind of gross, to be honest." Then she smiled and added, "but still kind of adorable."

* * *

Jem had thought, perhaps, that knowing she was coming, and seeing her would feel the same. He was wrong.

In his mind, he had dozens of compilations of what she might look like, what she might be like. He had thought that no matter what, all the possible answers were found in his countless hours of wonderings—that he was prepared in every way possible. But nothing could have given him the picture that he saw as he stared down at daughter for the first time.

He had been so solely focused on Tessa for the majority of the night, he had hardly had time to think about the baby, though she was always present in his mind. It was only hard to ponder on too much while looking at Tessa in so much pain. He had half a mind to let go of Tessa's hand and hug Magnus when he had given her the painkilling spell. Seeing the load lift off of her own shoulders took the one off his too, and it had been so much easier on her.

They had been there for so long and the women at the end of the bed didn't let on to how close or far they were. The sheet over her legs prevented either of them from seeing anything, so when the cry of an infant had echoed throughout the room, it had taken him utterly by surprise.

Tessa had more light in her face than he could remember seeing in so long. It was the same light he had seen when he had come to her on Blackfriars as himself and not as Brother Zachariah, only now it was magnified—added to the already surrealness of even having him there.

Jocelyn had cleaned her off with a wash bowl and a rag, then wrapped her in a swaddle and sat her in her mother's arms with the gentleness and poise of a woman who knew how to handle a child.

The baby was still red and her face was slightly swollen, but he had never seen anything more beautiful. A small wisp of brown hair, too thin to correctly judge what shade, covered her head, and her eyes were still swollen shut. She curled into her mother's chest and quieted to small coos and baby noises.

And Tessa—Tessa was more beautiful than he thought he had ever remembered. Her hair was stuck to her forehead and sweat was still beaded at her temples. Her cheeks were red and her breath only just calming down to normal. She watched the infant in her arms, pulling her tighter when she would try to wiggle, a gesture that reminded him of the way Jocelyn had held her—the arms of a mother.

He almost felt as if he were invading a moment by standing so close.

Tessa looked up at him, and it was like looking into the eyes of her soul, and he thought, that even in the next life, his soul would find hers. He could find it anywhere. Its mark was seared into his own and kept there. He could see the love there in those gray eyes. Love for him, and love for Ellie, love that was shared with Will and James and Lucie, and love for her past friends and family and love for the new ones. But there was more than love, for love did not always come with other emotions like care, hope, and joy. You could feel love without feeling those—but she did, and he could see it.

"Jem," she whispered, and he bent down to push her hair back and kiss her forehead. He then repeated the action with his daughter, brushing his hand, large and scarred and foreboding looking next to her delicate face, back across her head, kissing her head as well. She squirmed and wriggled some more.

Tessa let out a tired laugh. "I think she likes you, Jem," her voice was thick and croaky.

"I should hope so," he murmured, fingers running over her small face in wonder.

He remembered when he was a boy, before Tessa. He had thought he could never be a part of the type of love his parents had shared, that he would never feel it and never have it felt in return. Then Tessa had come along and changed that, but he still knew that he could never have this—never be able to be a part of someone else, to create another person and be able to hold them in his arms. And with that knowing, came never hoping or dreaming about it. He had allowed himself, young and in love, to hope for Tessa, to dream for Tessa—but to hope for this was too unreal to ponder on. It made the experience seem like a dream.

"Hold her," Tessa told him.

He looked down at the small child, unsure. It wasn't that he had never held an infant before. He had held both Jamie and Lucie at just days old when he had put the protections on them, and he had done it with countless others, all of their children, and most of their children's children, until both families had nearly forgotten about him. Even still, he had held other children.

But somehow, it was different with his own. He didn't think he'd drop her. If either of them fell, he knew he'd hit the floor a thousand times before she even came close. He knew how to hold her, so it wasn't that. He just didn't know why he wasn't picking her up.

"Jem?" Tessa asked him, looking expectant.

He reached down, sliding his hands under her swaddle. She was small enough that if he wanted to, he could have balanced her on his forearm or created a perfect cradle with his hands, but he didn't. He picked her up gently, pulling her in and holding her to his chest, where she rested soundlessly in the crook of his arm.

She was wrapped tight in the blanket and it looked uncomfortable, so he pulled at it until it was loose and her tiny arms were free. She didn't do much with the newly gained freedom, only swung them around aimlessly. Her chubby pink fist hit him in the cheek and she opened it to grasp for something. He brought the arm up that she wasn't cradled in and put a single finger out for her told hold onto. She blindly clutched it, her hand not big enough to wrap all the way around, and despite knowing how newborns were, he was again stunned at her smallness.

A small crowd had formed around him as the others entered the room. Isabelle by his side, but not too close, Alec farther back with Magnus and they were holding hands, both had content smiles on their faces. Jace was nearly on Jem's shoulder as he looked down at the chubby-fisted baby with fascination. The older women were sitting back, looking pleased and happy.

Then she opened her eyes.

It was hardly a squint, bleary eyed and unfocused as she stared up at her father for the first time, but he could see the light catch in her eyes. They were nearly a mirror of his own, the same dark brown, but his own had gold, a result of the heavenly fire, but they did not have the long streaks of silver that cut through her own, pooling at her pupils and running out like paths of molten metal. It was the same color his own eyes had once been, but on a lesser scale.

Fear filled him—he trembled.

"Brother Enoch?" he asked, addressing the stone-like figure that had stood against the wall. The Brother had been there for the majority of it, to make sure all had gone well. Jem moved through the small circle around him and towards him, the child cradled carefully in his arms. "Her eyes," he began.

 _Fear not, James Carstairs,_ he said, his voice a stony whisper. _All is well. It is merely the remainder of a demon's mark._

"But it should have been burnt out of her," Jem said, his voice low, though everyone was watching and could hear. Tessa looked tense and worried and the others unsure, but still worried. Jem knew how it was supposed to work. He had been a part of the Brotherhood, a society of doctors and researchers in their own ways. "Nephilim blood burns out the marks of demons."

 _And yet,_ Enoch said, _it did not burn out the mark of James Herondale. The mark came from your blood, and had her mother been pure Nephilim, it most likely would have burnt the mark from her. But her mother shares her blood with the Angel and the Infernal. As does Elizabeth Carstairs. She is perfectly healthy._

The weight on his chest lessened, and he could see Tessa relax from his peripheral vision, so the Silent Brother had obviously spoken to both of them.

"Thank you, Brother Enoch," Jem said. He looked down at the child in his arms, whose eyes were wider now as she looked up at him. She seemed curious, like she was studying him. He smiled down at her and she reached up to grab his lips and he laughed and kissed her tiny hand.

"Hello there, Elizabeth," he whispered. She cooed and reached for him again.

"Alright," Maryse interrupted, and for the first time, she looked sorry that she had to. "Little Ellie is probably getting hungry, so you boys," she pointed to the door, "out. As for the rest of you, I'm sure we could all use a meal and some sleep. Tessa and Jem have it from here," she turned to address the mentioned. "Would you two like me to have some food sent up?"

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble, that would be lovely," Tessa smiled at the woman and inclined her head. "Thank you Maryse, as well as the rest of you."

Everyone nodded and smiled, not getting to say much before Maryse ushered them out. Then it was just Tessa and Jem and Ellie.

Tessa smiled and held out her arm for the baby. Jem looked down at Ellie, who was, in turn, staring up at him with wide eyes. The redness was fading from her along with the swelling, and she was starting to look even cuter and more baby-like than before.

He sat her down in Tessa's arms, where her mother cradled her and kissed her head. When the baby was comfortably nursing, Tessa smoothed back her hair back.

Jem looked down at them in faux disappointment.

"She stole my spot," he said.

Tessa's eyes grew wide and her face turned dark red.

"You—" she began.

"Only teasing," Jem held up his hands in surrender and dropped to his knees beside the bed, watching the child. "We can share."

* * *

EXTRA

"Clary," Jace asked again, knocking lightly on the bathroom door. "Come on, Clary. It's over. You didn't even get to see the baby. You ran off like a madwoman before you could. It's over now. There's—"

The door flew open and Clary stood in the threshold, clutching the door handle brutally and looking paler than he could ever remember her being.

"Clary?" he asked worriedly.

"I," she started and then took a deep breath. "I can't do that," she pointed aimlessly.

"Can't do what?" he asked. She was acting so weird.

"That," her hands moved as she searched for the words, "baby."

"You can't do that baby? What are you—" he broke off with realization, feeling exasperated and disappointed at the same time. "You can't have a baby? By the Angel, Clary, I never asked you to have a baby with me. You know I'd love it, but it's not an expectation. Why are you getting so worked up about it now?"

"They sent me to meet Brother Enoch at the door," she blurted out. She was breathing harder now and tears were threatening to spill over.

He was looking at her like she was insane, and he was seriously questioning her sanity as it was.

"Okay, next time, just tell me, and I'll get the door," he told her.

"No, you big blonde idiot," she hissed. "He told me—" she slammed her mouth shut and took a deep breath, then smiled sweetly. "He told me that we were expecting," she put a hand over her stomach, the eerie smile still on her face. "And I thought, 'oh great, I can't put a diaper on a baby, I can't feed one without scalding it, I can't even hold one without dropping it.' But then I thought, 'no problem, I'll learn. I'm sure I'll figure it out'. And then I went in there with Tessa and watched the most horrifying sight I've ever seen, and I—Can't—Do—That," she stressed, each syllable tighter than the last.

"By the Angel," Jace muttered. "You're pregnant."

Clary looked murderous. "Really?" she asked hotly. "I didn't notice!" Then she slammed the door shut.

For a moment, he only stood there, nose a hairsbreadth away from the wooden door. Then the stupidest smile spread over his face. He was going to have a baby. Him and Clary were going to have a baby. He was going to be a daddy.

"You get to tell my mom, too," she yelled.

His smile fell.

 **Hope you guys like it! Next chapter, I'm up for suggestions, ideas? Just leave them in a review.**

 **Also (I'm advertising here), I'm writing a new story for the Mortal Instruments, Clace. It will be an actual story with a real plot and not just a lot of cute fluffy moments, which is why it's taking me a little longer. I'm planning and writing the first chapters. Here's the working summary,,,**

 **He was a boy with no reason to live. She was a girl with no reason to die. He had nothing going for him. She had everything going for her. Can she teach him to learn to love life, and when she's gone, can he still do it?**

 **I'm pretty sure the title is gonna be, 'But You Can Walk Through Clouds', which actually has a meaning in the story, lol.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter isn't much, but I thought since I hadn't posted in a while, I'd just put this up so I could ask you guys, because I hate when authors post Author's Notes with no content. But seriously, you guys gotta give me some ideas of what you want. I'm kinda running out here. I can do some from the children's POV. Maybe them meeting their Parabatai or something. I can also just do some cute scenes of like Church and the children or them visiting Uncle Magnus or Uncle Jace or something. Some scenes where Jem is teaching violin or Tessa is reading a story. I have an idea for the next chapter, that I really want to post because I think it's an adorable idea and I'm excited to write it. I think Wessa fans will also appreciate this next one (as well as Jessa fans). This is just an inbetweener.**

CHAPTER FIVE

Sometimes it was hard to remember that it was real. For so long happiness was only something that Jem could find in dreams and brief wishes of a future he knew he could never have. When he had been young, and even in the early years on the Brotherhood, he had dreamed of this future. Of being married to Tessa, being able to give her a tenth-anniversary gift, children… so many dreams, that he almost thought he was dreaming now.

"Papa," Elizabeth squealed and bounded over to Jem, who sat on the sofa in their little library-music room, a family favorite where they all enjoyed spending time. He was working on some music, his violin beside him and a few sheets of paper in his hands. Jem stifled a grin as he took in his five-year-old daughter and her companion. "Papa, look." Church dangled from her arms awkwardly, a moody expression on his face. "Isn't he pretty?"

Jem assumed she was referring to the cat, who wore a very large, very purple bow on his head.

"Very pretty, Ellie," he agreed. Sitting his violin to the table, he reached down and pick up his daughter, sitting her in his lap. The cat scuttled off and began to scratch at the bow in an attempt to get it off.

Ellie curled into Jem automatically, putting her arms around his neck and laying her head on his shoulder. Jem smiled and kissed her head, smoothing back her dark hair and the thin strip of silver that cut through the darkness of it.

"Are you tired?" he asked. If there was one thing Ellie could be relied upon for, it was finding her father when she was sleepy or upset or angry. Judging by the way she snuggled deeper into him and the flutter of her eyelashes against his neck, he could guess which she was.

The two often took a nap on the sofa in the afternoons. A small ritual of theirs. Sometimes William would crawl up and join them, but he could normally be found with his mother. At three, their son was still small enough to be clinging to Tessa's skirt.

"Hmm-mm," Ellie mumbled.

"Ah, well that doesn't sound terribly convincing."

Jem smiled at Tessa, who stood in the threshold of the room, her own arms full just as his were, but she held a small boy in hers, his dark hair fanned out against her shoulder and his eyes closed.

"Hi, Mama," Ellie muttered, turning her face out of Jem's shoulder to blink up at Tessa.

"Hello, Love." Tessa bent down and kissed her daughter's forehead. It wasn't the most graceful thing with her arms full, but it was one of the most beautiful moves Jem thought he had seen her do. Tessa turned to her husband and kissed him on the cheek. "You wouldn't mind if Willie joined you two, would you?" she asked them. "I've got some things to do and I don't think he'll be waking up anytime soon."

Jem opened his other arm and Tessa gently moved her son from her arms to her his. The little boy hardly stirred before he buried his head in and fell back asleep.

Jem pulled both of his children closer laid down on his back gently, so William ended up wedged between his chest and the sofa cushion and Ellie was sprawled out on his chest, her breathing evening out.

Tessa grabbed a throw blanket from the chair and tossed it over them. "I'm taking a picture," she whispered to Jem.

Jem only smiled. It was something she did often—take pictures, and he would never deny her it. He knew that if one day she and their two beautiful children would be gone, he would want to take pictures too. He would want some form of the past with him. Even if he knew Tessa well enough to know that when he and William and Elizabeth were gone, she would hide the pictures away in a box and look at them once a century, he wouldn't deny it to her. She still had many of Will and James and Lucie. All black and white of course, but they could color in the lines with memories well enough. Many of the pictures were still in the London Institute, but she had plenty with her. Tessa enjoyed sitting William and Elizabeth down and showing them.

"And this is your Uncle Will," Jem had walked in as Tessa pointed out a person in a picture one day.

Jem had just gotten back from grocery shopping. The children had stayed at home with Tessa. They were all seated around the table, an old trunk open and pictures and objects strewn around. Jem's eye caught on a silver box with a woman pouring water from a vase depicted on the lid, and his throat caught.

"He's your Papa's _Parabatai,_ " she continued. Jem didn't know if she noticed she was saying 'is'.

"Will?" William asked, his mind connecting the name to his own.

"Yes," Tessa smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her son's ear. "You have his name, and Will's son," her voice caught. "His name was James, like your father."

Tessa was petrified of telling the children about Will, James, and Lucie. She thought that they would hate her for it—somehow think that because she had had children before and watched them die, that she was okay with watching them die too. She thought that because she had had another family, that they would think her love was split or diminished by time and loss.

Jem didn't blame her for the fear, but he also didn't think lying to them, or rather omitting facts from the past, like the fact that Will was also her husband, and that Will's son James was also her son, would not do her any credit when the truth came out. And the truth would come out.

"This is him—Jamie," she pointed at another picture, the pet name slipping out as she lost herself in the past. Jem knew it had been years since Tessa had seen the pictures. Probably not since James and Lucie had died in the late fifties and early sixties. "And that girl beside him is his sister, Lucie."

"She's pretty," Ellie said, bending over the picture.

"Yes," Tessa's smile was sad. "A lot like you."

Tessa had gone on to explain some more faces—Charlotte, Henry, Cecily, Gabriel, Sophie, Matthew, Cordelia, the Lightwood children and other important faces.

Ellie and Willie were fascinated, and Tessa was more than willing to share stories. Stories of Will and Jem, who she said worked as a Silent Brother then—they didn't know that it wasn't a job one usually retired from—of James and Matthew and their adventures they thought she didn't know about, and how Cordelia was always keeping Lucie out of trouble. Stories that even Jem didn't know and stories he played an intricate part in.

In the end, Jem had joined in with some of his own stories and aided Tessa in hers. By the night's end, William was hanging off Tessa's hip and Ellie was curled into her father and they had decided it was time for bed. Jem knew that Tessa could have gone on for days longer. He could've too.

Tessa had denied herself too long. So much suppression of her own emotions, and that night he had held her as she cried. She had cried about Will and the fact that he never got to meet William and Elizabeth, for Jem and Will and how they never got what they deserved together, for James and Lucie because she missed her babies, for the siblings that never got to meet each other, and the future that she would spend alone.

"Say cheese." A light flashed in Jem's face and caught him off guard, his mind ripped back to the present.

"I never understood that phrase," he muttered, smiling at Tessa who stood above her family with a happy grin of her own.

 _But right now is good_ , he thought. Right now, she had a man who called her his wife, people who called her their friend, children who called her Mama and Aunt Tessa, and so much more good things, so he would listen to what she had told him at the end of that night when her tears had dried and she had no more left.

"Don't worry about the future Jem," she had said, her voice thick and croaky, "nor the past, for one is gone and the other is not here. We had plenty of time to think about yesterday yesterday, and we will have plenty of time for the problems that come our way tomorrow then. But you are here, and I am here, and we are together, and that is enough for me if it is enough for you. I am not saying we cannot grieve, but do not make every day sorrowful."

Jem knew that she was talking to herself more than him, but saying something out loud to a witness always made Tessa more inclined to stick with it. As if someone hearing it made it into a testimony.

He looked up at her now. Her eyes were alight with love and warmth.

"My loves," Tessa murmured as she rubbed Ellie's hair back. "My miracles."

 **What would you guys think about me writing a story about their children, with a plot, relationships and all that? Not just Jem and Tessa's children, but JaceXClary, AlecXMagnus, SimonXIzzy, JulianXEmma, and the rest. I have a really good idea for an antagonist that I'd like to use that I think would play out well.**


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